In which Helen manages not to kill her neighbours…

If you follow me on twitter, or know me in real life, you will know I have a difficult relationship with my neighbours.  But unless you spend much time in my flat, I don’t think you’ll know the extent of it.  And they are getting worse.  And I can’t do anything.  But write about it.  So, feel free to ignore this post, it’s for my own therapy as much as anything else!

The residents

Some birds, unknown species, unknown numbers

Two dogs, one always there, the other sometimes changes to a different dog, only ever two at once though

Two humans, one male, one female

The animals

I have no real issue with the birds, I don’t hear much of them.

The dogs on the other hand… And please note, my issue is not actually with the dogs, it’s with the awful care and lack of training of them…

They bark almost every time someone enters our building, walks past the building or a dog is somewhere near the building.  They don’t just bark a little, they keep going and going and going.  And loudly.

On the one occasion I dared to mention this to my neighbour I was threatened and told there was nothing they could do about it, dogs bark, if I don’t like it I should move…

They do not get walked more than once every couple of months, no exaggeration.  Their outside experience is really just our tiny, paved yard with a teeny bit of soil in it.  They get let out there two to four times a day for literally one to to minutes.  If the female human is letting them out, they get berated for being dirty boys and screamed at if they dare to go to the toilet.  She also does not clean up after them.  That’s a job for male human and if he’s out then it waits till he gets back.

In the summer, the humans leave the back door of the building open and just open their flat door to let the dogs out.  This has resulted in at least two cases of missing dog in the last year.  I am highly allergic to, and not especially fond of, these dogs and if I happen to be in the corridor when they are, they leap all over me.  Again, not their fault.

The humans are also prone to waking the dogs up at 5am and then getting annoyed with them for being awake…

The chores

The humans vacuum at least three times a day, regardless of the hour.  The worst day I think they vacuumed seven times between 5pm and midnight.  This is not a little bit of vacuuming up a spill, it’s a full on flat clean each time…

The washing machine and tumble dryer are each on at least once a day and the tumble dryer vent goes out of their window and into our shared yard…

The humans

The male human is very strongly against my disability related adjustments and has got quite angry with me about them.  The only one that really affects him is the rail on the ramp which means he can’t step off the ramp and has to go down it.  It’s about two metres out of his way and as he declared very loudly to me, he’s a “normal human being” so it really shouldn’t be a problem for him.

He uses a blue badge, which may or may not be theirs, to repair his many cars outside the flat on the double yellow lines.  Not what a blue badge is for…

He scares me… but in terms of day to day issues it’s the female human that’s the problem…

She shouts a lot.  At the dogs, at the male human and sometimes I think just to hear the sound of her own voice.  She screeches and screams at the dogs uncountable times a day, with no care of the time of day.

When she enters the flat building, she starts shouting at the dogs that they better not have been naughty and then when she opens her door, she shouts because they’ve got excited (presumably because they heard she’s home).  This happens regardless of the time and is becoming a regular occurance at 11pm on Sunday nights.  I am so grateful I don’t work.

She will also get up at about 5am to shout at the dogs, even though as far as I can tell through the floorboards, they’ve not really done anything because they’ve been asleep.  This is followed by shouting at them because they’re awake.  This will happen on and off for a couple of hours before things go quiet again.

Female human also screams and shouts at male human who does shout back from time to time.  When they argue, she has a temper tantrum, squealing incomprehensible words and stamping her feet like a three year old.

To top it all off, and this is the straw that broke me, she seems to have started tap dancing… And has just got what I can only imagine is one of those little exercise trampolines.. 

Argh.

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