I found the following post in my drafts. I thought I had posted it but maybe not. Sorry if I have done already!
We make millions of choices in our lives, from which socks to put on (or even whether to wear socks) to which job we go for to who we live with. Not everyone has access to all these choices. Sometimes circumstances take them out of our hands. Sometimes the choices we have aren’t good ones and you have to choose between bad and less bad.
And this is why, for me, it’s important that we consciously choose where we are able to. The alternative is going with the flow, being a victim of circumstance, having things done to us, taking on a passive role. And so the reverse, that is making choices consciously, brings us power.
There is power is in our choices.
When it comes to the big things, you’ll often find everyone has an opinion and these decisions are much more obviously a choice with consequences, good or bad.
When it comes to the day to day however, it’s so easy to just float along. spend hours watching whatever comes on the tv or keep clicking links through facebook and on into the web of the internet without really choosing what you look for. Do something just because you always do it. Reacting to things which happen to us.
We do not have the choice to not make a choice. Bear with me. What I mean is we can choose to live without making choices, letting the tide sweep us along etc but to do so is a choice (although one which removes the need for future choices). Essentially you’ve giving up all your power and saying that the ocean can do what it wants to you. The alternative is that we actively choose, and that choice might be to keep things as they are but by consciously choosing, you are owning your ability to change that choice in the future.
Say you’re in a rubbish job. You can choose to be a victim of it and give up all your power by declaring you have no choice. You can choice to leave the job. You can also choice to stay in th job. This is different to the first option. This option means you have considered things, you are aware that you can change your mind and look for other jobs in the future when it might be a more appropriate time.
You cannot not choose.
To do nothing is a choice. And there are many times when this is a good choice adn the right one for you to make. But be conscious as you chose it.
With great power comes great responsibility… and when it comes to choices, this means owning the consequences. Things may be tough or painful because of a choice you’ve made but accepting responsibility for it means keeping your personal power. Playing the victim, erasing your part in things, is one of the easiest ways to denounce your power.
“I have to…” is probably one of the most common ways that we regularly give up our power. And this is where the bad and less bad options are probably at play. “I have to go to work” isn’t really a ‘have to’. But you probably aren’t fond of having no money, no food, no home etc.
The words we say to ourselves, and others, create the world we live in, our world view and our approach to life. “I choose to…” or “I will be…” reframes the situation.
“I don’t have a choice” invalidates what you are choosing. If you don’t believe you have a choice whether you do your specific job or not, you cannot choose to leave.