The zombies upstairs?

I live in a ground floor flat with one flat above me.  My neighbours are annoying and strange…

…and zombies?

It certainly would explain a lot…

With the vertigo, I’ve had a lot of time to people watch and the only sensible conclusion is that my neighbours are indeed zombies.

Evidence 1.

They never bring home food or drink or toilet roll* or dog food or bird food or any of those things you need to live as a human (or dog or bird).  They never get takeaways delivered so they aren’t getting food that way.  And they never have visitors.  Well, they have had one in the year and a bit I’ve lived here.

Evidence 2.

He goes out about 10pm and arrives home at 7am.  Too early for me to have my curtains open so I can’t tell you if he’s dragging a human body for a spot of breakfast…  But if I was looking for flesh, I’d do so in the cover of dark…

Evidence 3.

The regular sound of the vacuum cleaner, several times a day, could actually be a chainsaw being used to cut up bodies.

Evidence 4.

There is a weird bouncing noise once or twice a day. It could be a mini trampoline but it could also be jumping on a body to try and make it fit into a chest freezer for later meals…

Evidence 5.

The washing machine is ALWAYS on and there are only two of them so they don’t have anywhere near enough washing to justify it.  Perhaps they are cleaning blood off their clothes?

I would just like to add that I’m not a stalker.  I have very little to do right now and they are very noisy.

*Between writing this and publishing it, they did bring home some toilet rolls.  Still no food though…

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