Supporting small businesses

As you probably know, small businesses, especially those that haven’t been open for a year, are struggling at the moment. I’m also acutely aware that many people can’t afford to support them, but if you can, please do.

I had saved up to go on holiday this year, and as that’s not going to happen, I’m using that money to treat myself and support small businesses in the process. I wanted to write a post about these great people, in part because I feel helpless, and because they are awesome and spreading the word about them can only be good!

Plush is a wonderful cafe in York with three quirky rooms and an array of vegan, vegetarian and gluten free options. You can support them by ordering gift vouchers to treat your friends and give them something to look forward to. They also have an online store filled with cute homeware, beauty accessories and more. I particularly love this lamp!

And who knew a plant mister could be so cool!

Little Red Tarot has long been favourite place for tarot decks, oracle decks and related books. I recently treated myself to The Wooden Tarot and am enjoying getting to know it. She also has an online tarot course with 50% of profits going to Safety4Sisters.

I have not managed to get an online food shop which is frustrating but not essential as I am mostly tube fed. However, I do like wine and not being able to get any would be the same as most people not being able to get food they love. Yes I can live without it but it brings me joy, and flavour. Enter Field and Fawcett who are based in York but offer delivery.

Fox Lane Books have a stall at so many events I attend and I always look forward to seeing them and treating myself. With those events cancelled, they obviously aren’t able to attend and sell books. However, they have a great selection of books online, including signed copies! I am currently reading Cursed Britain and would highly recommend it. One of the things I really like about Fox Land Books is that they have books that I’ve not come across before and there’s a section for Kirstie’s favourite fiction which is a lovely personal touch.

Portal is an LGBTQIA bookshop based in York but offering online orders. There are so many interesting looking books including fiction, non fiction and poetry. I can personally recommend A Court of Thorns and Roses and Crooked Kingdom and am looking forward to working my way through more of their incredible looking selection. They also offer vouchers.

Before the lockdown, I was supposed to be getting a tattoo. Whilst it has been postponed, Vera Ickler, like many tattoo artists, is now offering prints and original artwork. Whilst my leg will remain inkless for a while, there is not need for my walls to!

Other ways you can support small businesses includes shopping on etsy, folksy and not on the high street. And there are of course many charities which need additional support right now.

Whip-poor-will

Whip-poor-will’s are not a bird I know about.  As in I hadn’t even heard about them until I got this tarot deck.  So this will not be as detailed as some of my other posts. 

They are also known by the name ‘goat sucker’ and they owe this strange association to Aristotle who reported that they fly to the udders of she goats and sucks on them…  But now to some more accurate information…

Whip-poor-wills are nocturnal and tend to be solitary, although they might form small flocks during migration.  They are thought to be monogamous but little is known about their courtship displays.  What is known is that females try to get the attention of the male by strutting on the ground, head lowered and wings and tail outspread.  If interested, the male responds by approaching the female and undulating his body.  He might circle her and she’ll respond by undulating her body and quivering her wings. 

Assuming courtship is successful, they breed twice a year, laying their eggs on the ground.  Their reproductive cycles are synchronised with the moon cycles so that when the young hatch, there is better light to forage for food to feed them.

Night is normally associated with mystery and things which are difficult to define, but the link with the moon light here suggests that you’re going to get a bit of clarity.

Both parents incubate the eggs and feed the young, when one parent is off foraging, the other is protecting the nest.  Having nests on the ground means the eggs and young are vulnerable to predators, including skunks, raccoons and snakes.  To protect them, adults will perform the ‘broken wing’ display; they fake an injury in full view of the predator to divert their attention.  You may need to sacrifice yourself for your children, or creations.

As well as being nocturnal, they are masters of camouflage but being invisible doesn’t mean you aren’t noticed.  The Animal Totem Tarot book says that the Whip-poor-will loves the sound of its own voice and their species name, vociferous, means voice carrying, or noisy.  As nocturnal birds, their voice likely seems louder as it has less competition and may infer with sleep.  They tend to be heard rather than seen, making them seem mysterious and its haunting song has inspired folk beliefs. Like many night birds, their call is said to be associated with death or some other kind of doom, including warning of storms.  This all highlights the power of your voice right now.  What should you be speaking up about right now?

As well as being omens of death, there are a number of other beliefs surrounding this bird. To rid yourself of a bad back, you could try doing somersaults in time with their calls… I do have questions about whether you can somersault with a bad back but as I’m also unlikely to hear one, I won’t be able to test this theory. 

A single woman hearing her first whip-poor-will of the spring would remain single for the year, unless she made a wish on the first call.  If she kept her wish secret, she’d would be married.

The Ute people believe that the whip-poor-will is a god of the night and created the moon from a frog and the Mohegan tribe believe that makiwasug – magical little people – would take the form of whip-poor-wills to travel through the forest at night.

Most nocturnal birds become cast as harbingers of death or illness but I feel the link with the light of the moon should bring some hope to anyone who’s drawn this card. There is a glimmer in the darkness and confusion, lean into it.

Reading

Animal Diversity Web

IUCN Red List – Eastern Whip-poor-will

IUCN Red List – Mexican Whip-poor-will

UNC Charlotte Urban Institute

Birds: Myth, Lore and Legend, by Rachel Warren Chadd and Marianne Taylor

Slow reading

There’s a lot of news and social media about coronavirus and people’s reactions and fears and scaremongering. This can seep into you without you really noticing and affect your thinking and your mood.

One of the ways I’m coping with this is through slow, intentional reading. When I get into bed, I read one chapter of a carefully chosen book. Just one chapter. However much I want to read more, I stick to just one.

The book I am reading slowly at the moment is Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It is a book that really benefits from slow reading and a deeper attention. It is written poetically and thoughtfully and needs space and time to reach into you and wrap its ideas around your heart. Yes you could speed read it, but that would be to miss a key point, as well as many nuanced ideas and you wouldn’t embody the teachings in the same way.

Reading this way feels more meditative, more mindful and is a way of slowing down at the end of the day. It is a tonic to heal from the short, snappy headlines, and the streaming flow of tweets.

“If you want the deep experience of a book, if you want to internalise it, to mix an author’s ideas with your own and make it a more personal experience, you have to read it slowly”
– John Miedema, quoted in The Guardian

I also will not look at my phone or tablet whilst I read the chapter. I read these as books, not ebooks and because holding books for too long hurts my hands, that also helps to limit me.

Some books lend themselves more naturally to slow reading than others and for me, these books include:

These are the books that spring to mind, but when I think of others I will add them in the comments below. I would also love to hear from you – what are you reading at the moment? Are you reading anything that feels therapeutic or healing?

Bobcat

Before I delve into the world of the bobcat, I wanted to say that with coronavirus and lock downs and self isolation, it is a strange time. If you would like me to look at an animal that has come into your life recently, please drop me and email and I will see what I can do. Sometimes we need to hear the teachings of our fellow creatures and right now feels especially like one of those times.

But back to the bobcat…

Vision is fluid and the eyes tend to lie.  This means that what some see as restrictive and abusive, others see as liberating and freeing.  It really does depend on whose eyes you are looking through”
Animal totem tarot

In the Animal Totem Tarot deck, the bobcat features on the devil card which also ties into the idea of perspective. Depending on how you see things, the devil can be shackling, or liberating and further, it can represent someone who is unshackled and yet is chained because they think they are.

They are obviously feline creatures, and they have – as you’d expect – a short bobbed tail.  This has a white end with a black tip and is held up in the dark so that kits can follow mum.  They also have tufts of hair on their ears that are used like whiskers, and ruffs of fur on the side of the face akin to sideburns! 

Bobcats are found in south eastern USA and whilst they are rural creatures, they are becoming more habituated to urban and suburban landscapes.  They tend to be found in areas with cover for them to slip through, such as forests and brushland, and will sleep in hidden dens, often made in hollow trees, thickets and rocky crevices.

Some people see them as invading the urban landscape, but in reality, we invaded their homeland – there are multiple versions of truth, again we still the theme of perspective.  Sticking with this, bobcats are nocturnal which brings in ideas about night and the moon and they in turn give us mystery and things not being very clear.  The darkness can trick you, making you think you see things that aren’t there and hiding the things that are.  The moon in tarot is all about the subconscious, illusions and dreams.  There is distortion and magic and mystery. 

However, as bobcats have excellent hearing and vision, we could read this as a creature who can help us see into and navigate through the confusion of the darkness and the night.  Perhaps the bobcat is here to be a guide for you.

Bobcats are solitary cats, that only really interact for mating.  They want to be left to do their own thing and to enjoy their own company and are here to remind you that sometimes, you need this time and space too.  When it comes to reproducing, males and females come together for a brief time, just long enough for courtship and copulation.  The female will then be left alone to raise the young.  It takes almost a year to get them to the point where they can go off on their own, and a key part of being able to leave the nest is about being able to hunt successfully. 

Bobcats are well camouflaged and this helps them to slip through the environment unseen, further they are quiet, near silent as they stealthily hunt out prey.  One way they reduce noise is by putting their back feet in the footprints of the front paws, apparently all cats do this, cat owners let me know!  They are known to perch in rocky alcoves waiting for the right moment to pounce and have been described as spring loaded predators.  This puts me in mind of seizing the opportunity.  Related to this, they are what are called opportunists when it comes to diet.  But as well as jumping on opportunities, they are patient, waiting for the right opportunity, not just grabbing at whatever comes to hand.  Be selective, be patient and then go for it.

When I was researching the bobcat, the idea of secrets came up repeatedly with the view that they are inscrutable and cannot be coerced into revealing their secrets.  They are sometimes considered to be keepers of occult knowledge and guardians of secrets.  Perhaps because of the solitary lifestyle, people feel that they can share this information with the bobcat and it will not be shared with anyone else. 

Their night vision means they are said to be able to see into the future, to have profound insight and are able to look within people to their souls.  This may be a time when you can see what others are trying to keep hidden from you.  Trust your gut right now if secrets are involved.  Also remember that with the night comes our subconscious and sometimes we are hiding secrets from ourselves.  If that might be the case right now, it might be time to try and uncover them, you are allowed to know these secrets and sometimes, not always, it can be helpful to tap into our inner world.

Naturally, a lot of folklore around the bobcat comes from Native Americans.

“The Lakota held cats in fear and awe.  They believed that to kill or mutilate any kind of cat – mountain lion, bobcat or even the plain old domestic tabby – carried a curse.  The culprit would have terrible things happen to him.  Therefore, they avoided cats.”
– Jessica Dawn Palmer

In some mythology, the bobcat is twinned with the coyote to represent duality.  Another tale explains how the bobcat got its spots.  After getting trapped in a tree rabbit persuades bobcat to build a fire but the embers end up scattered on the bobcat’s fur and the spots it wears today are the singe marks.  Another story explains the bobbed tail.

Their excellent hunting skills are admired by some groups but for others, the bobcat plays a negative role, being cast as greedy, selfish and disregarding social rules.

Ultimately, it feels as though the bobcat is here to help us see into the darkness and the night, and to remind us that there are many perspectives and truths and to look at things from all angles.

Links:

Animal Diversity Web

IUCN Red List

National Geographic

Aunty Flo

Animal Wisdom by Jessica Dawn Palmer

Staying home, some tips

I have spent a lot of time unable to leave my house in the past, and none of those periods have had a known end date. This means dealing with isolation, cabin fever and no idea when it will end, something a lot of people are facing right now. So I wanted to share some of my learnings…

First, if you are used to working outside the home, think about what work does for you. Yes you get paid but you also get to interact with people, leave the house, use your brain, be creative, problem solve and work adds to your self esteem and sense of worth. For me, this has translated as five things I aim to do each week:

  • Something creative – art, craft, writing…
  • Something that uses my brain – a crossword, scrabble, reading, learning…
  • Talking to someone who is not a carer – ideally this would be in person but there are times when this might be a phone call, a skype call, an email or some other virtual way
  • Checking in with my emotions – maybe doing tarot, journaling or whatever works for you. Expect to have complicated feelings that don’t necessarily make sense. Make space for emotions.
  • Finally getting outside the house. This is clearly not an easy one to meet right now. However, you can go into your garden if you are lucky enough to have one. If you don’t, you can open your windows to let some air and bird song in. I’ve also written about ways of connecting with nature when you are stuck in the house.

A few other things that might be useful to note include:

  • Allow space and time for emotional exhaustion
  • Expect to spend more on utilities during this time. You won’t be using work gas, electric and water and that will add up.
  • Keep to at least a loose routine, especially during week days.
  • Get dressed. Yes you can have a few pj days, but make the effort most days. You will feel better for it.
  • It’s ok to laugh. Gallows humour is a way of coping with difficult circumstance.

Then comes the question of how you are going to pass the time…

  • Online contact
  • Online learning
  • Reading
    • Don’t set yourself up to read all of War and Peace. Be realistic about how your energy levels and concentration are being affected. All books are valuable and you can read children’s books and young adult fiction even if you are in your 90s.
  • TV
    • All of Criminal Minds is on Prime, that’s a lot of episodes!
    • Comedy series’ on Prime – Modern Family, Life in Pieces, The Middle
    • Documentaries on Netflix – The Pharmacist, The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez, explained, 60 days in,
    • Fun viewing on Netflix – You Me Her, Clueless, One day at a time, Grace and Frankie
    • Please share your own recommendations for films, tv and books below!
  • Think about all those hobbies you always say you’d like to try, now is the time. Take up knitting or paint by numbers or cooking. Whatever it is, you will find a tutorial out there.
  • Write yourself an isolation bucket list – film nights, skype coffee, cleaning out that cupboard you never get to…

BUT also prepare not to do all these things. All the news and uncertainty takes an emotional toll on people, and makes us feel tired even if we aren’t doing much. Think about small, bite sized activities and intersperse them with rewards such as lunch, a cup of tea or an episode of your current go to tv show.

These are strange times and if you aren’t used to being stuck at home, it’s likely to feel very constricting but I thank you so much for doing what you are doing. By staying home, you are helping to reduce the spread of coronavirus and keep those of us who are vulnerable safer.

Other related posts
FOMO and chronic illness
Goals, aims and ambitions when you’re retired/ill

Responding to a poem

I am part of a poetry group and due to Coronavirus we have had to cancel meeting up but we have continued via email. So instead of meeting up yesterday, one of the group sent round a prompt for us. She asked us to take a poem and write a response to it.

I thought it appropriate to start with Poems for a World Gone to Shit and found In Preparation for the End Times by Francine Elena.

In Preparation for the End Times – my response

In preparation for the end times
I plan to build a time capsule,
think of it as a future curation,
a warning styled as a museum.

Walls will be lined with loo rolls,
antibac will flow from taps.
Everything in the kitchen will be pasta,
the table and chairs as well.

Half read books and unstarted
projects will be piled up
on the floor.

A stack of unused face masks
will be built up like a house of cards.

Boxes of gloves will fill the bath
and bottles of water
will form the sides
of an isolation pod.

In a display marked
Well, it can’t hurt…”
will sit cures next to their
fake news headlines;

cocaine snorted
sterilizes nostrils”

“drinking cow piss
will wash out the virus”

“eat more garlic
to wipe out the toxins”

And as you leave
you’ll pass through
a bleach shower

and maybe
just for good measure
be asked to drink some too.

Roadrunner

“If I show myself to you it is only because I want you to see me.  But don’t be fooled into thinking that this is some sort of long-term thing.  I am mere here to show you what you have been missing while your head is constantly facing the ground.  I am here to remind you that once in a while you need to raise your head and take a good hard look at what is around you.”
– Animal totem tarot

There are two types of roadrunner, the greater and the lesser and for the purposes of this post, I will be thinking about them both here and if I’m not specific, then it’s either because my source is unclear about which or the information is relevant to both.  This may not be what everyone would do but I have never seen a roadrunner and researching them has proven to confuse the two.  From what I can tell, they are fairly similar.  They live in different areas, with a small overlap and the Lesser is smaller with slightly different plumage. 

Both the Lesser and Greater Roadrunners are opportunistic predators that eat a wide array of prey including grasshoppers, crickets, beetles, small reptiles and frogs.  The Greater at least beats their larger prey, such as snakes and small birds, on the ground to disarticulate the skeleton, allowing them to swallow it whole.  Take advantage of what is around you, leap on the opportunities you can see.  As you will see, this bird is about action, not reflection.  If you’re familiar with the astrological elements, think fire not air, impulse not thinking.

The Lesser Roadrunner can run up to 20 miles per hour and this is how it moves around most of the time.  Running allows them to use the open roads as racetracks for chasing insects and lizards.  They are also highly manoeuvrable on the ground allowing for quick changes in direction.  This makes them appear as if they are here one minute and gone the next.  They are a flash on the edge of your awareness.  This could be an idea, a thought, an insight and knowing they’re coming, be alert to them.  Pay attention, these flashes are key right now.

Roadrunners can fly but only do so when absolutely necessary – again this is not a bird we associate with air, it had much more earthy, grounded energy.  The roadrunner is here to push you into practical action.

Because of their chosen habitat, they have to face vast variations in temperatures.  Overnight, they lower their body temperature slightly and go into a slight state of torpor in order to conserve energy.  Come early morning, they will then sunbathe – they will position their scapular feathers and expose their black skin which can then absorb sunlight and warm their body.  Of course, they then also have to face the scorching heat of the day.  They halve their activity during midday in order to survive in such a variable climate.   Along with being opportunistic, the roadrunner is adaptable and these traits help it to succeed in harsh environments.

A wonderful fact about roadrunners is that they leave behind a distinct ‘X’ track mark, making them appear as though they are travelling in both directions and it was said that this throws off malignant spirits.  It also looks like they are leaving a trail of kisses in their wake!

Roadrunners are monogamous, mate for life and (at least the greater ones) defend a large territory.  For the greater roadrunner, bonds are renewed each spring and summer through a series of elaborate display.  The male will bow and prance, wag his tail and offer the female nesting materials and food.  Both parents will help to build a nest with the male collecting the materials – sticks, grass, feathers and sometimes snakeskin and cow manure – and the female doing most of the construction.  Nests are built a few feet off the ground, in a bush or low tree and those of the lesser roadrunners are smaller, but stronger and more compact than nests of the greater roadrunner.  Mum and dad will incubate the eggs and once hatched, will feed and protect the chicks.

The Greater Roadrunner has many names, including Snake Killer and Medicine Bird which gives us some insight into how they have been viewed.  There was a belief that they could protect against evil spirits and their feathers were used to decorate cradleboards which would offer the baby spiritual protection.  For some tribes it was good luck to see one and for others they were seen as sacred, revered for their speed and bravery.  For most Mexican Indian tribes, roadrunner meat was used as a folk remedy to cure illness and to boost strength and stamina.

There is a Mayan story about how the king of the birds was chosen explains the roadrunners drab colouring.  Originally roadrunner was a beauty, covered in magnificent feathers and very impressive with emerald green wings and a long shimmering tail.  Quetzal however was dull but had a brilliant mind and wanted to be king.  But because of his appearance couldn’t convince the other birds that he was right for the job.  He persuaded roadrunner to lend him his plumage, just for a little while so he could impress the others.  He was declared king but once he was crowned he became very busy and forgot that he was supposed to return the feathers to roadrunner.  The other birds realised roadrunner was missing and organised a search.  He was found featherless, cold and hungry.  When all the birds heard what had happened, they each gave roadrunner one of their feathers.  Today, roadrunner still wears a strange mix of feathers and runs around calling ‘puhuy?’, meaning ‘where is he?’.

Reading

Animal Diversity Web – Greater Roadrunner
Animal Diversity Web – Lesser Roadrunner
The Cornell Lab of Ornithology – Greater Roadrunner
The Cornell Lab of Ornithology – Lesser Roadrunner