I’m talking a lot about my mental health at the moment (more so on twitter than here) and I feel a need to explain. One of the reasons I think I have ended up where I am is because I didn’t talk. Therefore talking is important to my recovery. Also, having a way of externalising bad thoughts and feelings and acknowledging the good days and behaviours is a healthier way for me to validate my experience. I have an overwhelming need for validation and I know this is something that drives my destructive behaviours and keeps me trapped in their vicious cycles. Eating disorders and self harm can be incredibly secretive and talking about them is helping to free me from them. Talking (or tweeting as is more often the case) helps to keep me accountable, even if it’s just being accountable to myself.
I also think that we should talk about mental health and one of the ways that some good can come out of where I am is by raising awareness of depression, self harm and eating disorders. Even if it’s just normalising the fact that someone is talking about it.
So, if you happen to speak to me you may find I mention my psych nurse, my eating disorder appointments, my weigh ins or my dietitian in passing. These are part of my life at the moment and the fact that they are means I am fighting, I am trying to recovery. The fact they are part of my life is a positive thing. If my talking about it makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why. I am not ashamed. Are you?