If you’ve read the previous posts, or lessons, you might be aware that its important to keep in mind how much better you are than the client. You are wiser, more intelligent, more able and just overall a much greater human being, after all, you contribute to society selflessly every day.
Golden rule: Assume the client is stupid. They need care and you provide care, therefore you are better than them.
Keeping that in mind, you must also be ready to step in with advice at every chance, preferably before being asked. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know anything about the client’s condition and that you haven’t bothered to learn anything, you are the better human here so your advice should be taken as gospel. This is especially true when treating symptoms and administering medication. Whilst this might have been covered during training, you should forget everything you learnt. Ideally, don’t pay attention to the training and if any of it does seep in, do your best to erase it.
If the client asks you to do something you don’t want to, just don’t do it. It is that simple. Don’t refuse, just make out that you have done it or don’t mention it again. Related to this, what the client does that day should be dictated by you. If you want to go out for coffee, that’s absolutely fine, just tell them over and over again that its the perfect day for a coffee or other activity that you want to do.
When the client is busy doing things, it’s best to either a) interrupt with pointless questions or b) sit and stare at them. This is great because communication and spending time together are important in relationship building.
Expect the client to micromanage you. This way you do the bare minimum work and if anything doesn’t get done, or doesn’t get done well enough, it’s not your fault, it’s the clients.
That said, you should use your initiative when it comes to things like medication. Remember that golden rule… The client is stupid and they don’t know what medication they really need…
During showers, the priority is to keep yourself dry, don’t worry too much about actually washing the client.
Argue with everything the client says. The sky is not blue, it’s shades of white and grey. This is really good as it keeps the client’s mind sharp.
Tell the client that you don’t want to be a carer. It makes them feel extra special and really grateful that you’re doing it for them.
Follow these simple guidelines and you’re well on your way to becoming a fantastic carer. All your friends and family will admire you for helping those less fortunate people and heap praise upon you for how you suffer for others.
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