WordPress has just kindly pointed out that this blog has been around for a year.
My first post included a poem I had written based on my tweets which makes for interesting reflection. The blog was started primarily as a way of getting back into writing but also because I was sinking further into a hellish pit of depression and destructive coping mechanisms. My eating disorder was starting to take hold and I had done a good job of self silencing. I had attempted to seek help from my GP and through work and hadn’t been successful.
Written last year:
In the dark
(Delete as applicable)
By a strange coincidence I wrote another poem based on my tweets today:
pretence at sanity guides through
a reminder of lost feelings
sharing imaginings of gifts
fight back with uncomfortable defiance
A year on and I’ve managed to speak and I’ve finally managed to get some help. It’s a huge relief but in order to recover I know I have to struggle back through the hell of depression. Anorexia has numbed me and eating releases the feelings but anorexia is not sustainable. I face the depression or I die. They are my choices. I choose to face it.
I don’t want to be sitting here, wasting my life to anorexia, when wordpress tells me it’s been two years.